I find myself daydreaming and even regular dreaming of the lottery. As a strugglint single father of 2 beautiful girls, I just want to give them the world, but I'm always caught up in work and making ends meet... just so sick of the hamster wheel, figuring out what to sell to pay a bill, just mentally exhausting... I dream of winning a substantial amount of money and then the waters settling, moving to a location that I actually want to be, helping my mom and brother and a couple select people and maybe traveling, I feel as though theirs so much beauty in this world that I want me and my family to see and experience, yet I'm stuck in the dreary and mundane day to day experiences of just "surviving"... I feel like theirs so much more to life yet stress, pressure exhaustion and bills act as a buffer between me and that life. Money would change that. I'm not a materialistic person, I could care less about brands or a high end sports car... just a reliable car and a 1,500 Sq ft house and we are good, it's Moreno the freedom created by copious amounts of money, the memories that could be made, the weight of that burden on my shoulders that would be lifted... just the ability to be able to "breathe"... the pressure to provide and just sustain is paralyzing at times. I want good memories, I want my kids to reflect as adults and say "man, dad did everything with us and for us as kids" vs "dad was always tired and cranky and stressed"... I pray to God that I'm able to hit, even if just a smaller jackpot, I feel as though I'd be completely different without this unrelenting ubiquitous pressure from life and its circumstances... I feel as though I am going to hit eventually, but it cannot be soon enough. My girls are so good and I give them every bit that I can, but a lot of times things are tight or even behind and I feel bad... even when they ask for something, and I say "I'm sorry baby we can't right now" they never get upset, complain, throw tantrums or cry, they just say "ok daddy" and a lot of times bc they are so good about it, I will feel bad and get it despite "not really having it" if you know what I mean... it's not a toy, or something I want the money to "spoil" them with... it's the way I'd be able to allocate time and energy spent on them, as I feel that's what they need and deserve most, the memories... also me being able to breathe free of worry as to how many hours of overtime I'll need to work, and how to pay the baby sitter and still make enough to have it be worth it.... ughhh life is hard... I feel like kids (and my kids) should be kids and a lot of times I feel as though they are inheriting a piece of my worry and stress about bills, and I hate that I feel that way... but I have a innate feeling that that's how they feel, kids feel a lot, whether able to articulate it or not, they absorb so much from their parents, and I just want my energy renewed so that they have me at my best version.... dear God, I pray and wish that you could let me win the lottery and I promise I will make good of it and do good with it, with all sincerity, joe