+107 @Nugget_Brain Fucking hyperventilate and probably have to go to urgent care for oxygen.

+67 @skeetsauce Find a zip lock bag to put the ticket in. My dumbass would find a way to spill something on it.

+55 @fappyday Pop a bottle of champagne and drink it alone because there's no way I'm telling anyone else.

+49 @Celoth I'd start cleansing my online presence ASAP. It's boring but I really wouldn't do anything too crazy just yet. I'd get to as low of an online footprint as possible, I'd buy a burner prepaid phone to do business on, and I'd have a notebook full of brainstorms and plans between the wife and I.

+41 @avidpretender Honestly I’d do my best to relax and stay calm so I could get decent sleep for work in the morning lol. Even though I wouldn’t work there for longer than a couple months more, I’d still want to end on good terms.

+36 @BurlHimself I would so NOT drink. Imagine doing something so absurdly stupid and accidentally destroying the ticket/lose it?! Man, I’d be on my best behavior until it was a done deal and taken to whenever you turn it in. I know it’s next to impossible not to celebrate but I’d try my very best to chilllllll until it it’s legitimized THEN let the party begin.

+26 @Vagabond21 Get in my car. Drive somewhere secluded and yell.

+22 @LePetitMouton I'd check mine in the morning. I like sleep and I wouldn't sleep if I checked it at night. Plus I need to be clear headed. I'd check it, have a panic attack. Have my partner check it and convince me that I'm not in a coma or delusional. Have another panic attack. Fake COVID to all my obligations. Have another panic attack. Try to come up with a game plan but I forgot how to breathe and had another panic attack. Find a place to hide the ticket while trying to convince myself that I was having another panic attack and it's probably not a heart attack. Panic about the store having the time stamp of when the ticket was bought and they matched it to their surveillance and now have a picture of me. Have another panic attack. It's going to be a rough but exciting day.

+20 @BelieveMyOwnEyes I’d probably get the cops called on me for a welfare check cause I wouldn’t be able to stop screaming or crying.

+15 @thred_pirate_roberts Assuming it's middle of the night when I check the numbers, and I've already sufficiently checked and rechecked that yep, I've won, then: Find a ziplock bag and seal that ticket in. Protect it from everything. Go to bed, open up some porn, get that post nut clarity. Go to sleep and sleep well. Go to the series of tubes (internet). How big is the prize? Do you live in a big city? What's the closest *BIG* city you live by? Find the largest/richest law firm around that has a branch in your city. Find the partner for their trust & estate planning, private wealth management, etc. See if you can find a few different options from a few different companies. Call off work if possible if it's the weekend, then maybe do what you were normally going to do, wait until the work week. If you're around other people before this next part: *DON'T FU%&ING TELL OR MENTION OR HINT OR SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HAVING WON, TO ANYBODY. THAT MEANS YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY! JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING!* People literally get killed over this, especially by their own family members. Set up a meeting or consultation or something with this partner. Don't just come right out and say you won the lottery. Be vague with details as you can, even if they can correctly surmise the details. They may pass you off to a junior associate, but you insist s/he handle your situation her/himself. Use that layer to help set up all possible ways to protect yourself and your assets.

+15 @bubonis Sign it. Probably add a drop of blood too.

+15 @Karmadilla I’d probably have a furious masturbation session.

+13 @EvilSporkOfDeath Very first thing? Double check. Then triple check. Then quadruple check. Etc.

+12 @cornered42 get an account on zillow

+12 @roseffin Order an escort

+11 @Daegog I make a point to NEVER check the powerball the night of the draw, no way to sleep if you just found out you won. First thing secure the ticket in something waterproof and someplace where heat reactions will not be an issue.

+11 @eastkent Phone in sick at work (just until the money is actually in the bank!), look on Primelocation to find a house to buy in the place I'd like to live, find a nice new campervan to buy. All from my armchair.

+11 @HRslammR I'd confirm it like 100 times. Then I'd tell the wife. Then call in to work and haul ass to closest lottery office while checking that the ticket was still there at least 150 times a minute. Then call a lawyer and follow all the things laid out in the reddit post.

+11 @Chromattix If it isn't too late - order a pizza. *Delivered* this time. Then go online and start browsing and bookmarking shit I want until the early hours of the morning because I ain't gonna be sleeping.

+11 @meadowsmay1130 Immediately start looking at houses and acreage (1000+ ac) with river access and/or year around springs

+9 @Jet_Attention_617 Probably wake up, check ticket, realized I won, call in to work sick, and use the day to come up with a plan (which I've essentially outlined already with that handy Reddit post) Then, I'd tell my SO, and we execute our plan from there (hit up a lawyer, estate planner, tax accountant, etc.) Ideally, we would tell no one until we've claimed our winnings and draw up plans/trusts for immediate family members. Then, we tell them. That way, there is no way a greedy relative can claim that someone influenced me in giving them a disproportionate share, sue me for that, etc. (I don't expect that to happen, but money can change people)

+9 @pythor Take a photo with my phone and stick the ticket in a safe.